Gym
by Light1
Summary: Seras goes to the gym, Alucard disapproves.
1. Chapter 1

**Gym**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: PG

Part: One of Three

_Italics mean either flashbacks or thoughts_

**Chapter One**

"Where are you going?"

The question made Seras jump and she dropped the duffle bag resting on her shoulder. She heard her master snort behind her, amused by her clumsiness, or her surprise she wasn't sure and didn't rightly care.

"What?" she asked reaching down to pick up the bag.

"You're dressed oddly," Alucard said prodding at the latex over her legs, he pinched the fabric between his fingers and pulled the tight but stretchy material away from her and let it snap back into place.

"Ouch," Seras said, despite it not hurting. "I'm going to the gym." She gestured at her ensemble of leggings, trainers and tank top, "I'd have thought it obvious." Alucard blinked at her for a long moment, Seras winced under the confused scrutiny. "What?" she said again.

"Why?" Alucard said, stealing the duffel bag and opening it.

"Rude," Seras reached to take it back and failed. Alucard pulled out her towel, water bottle and I pod still appearing baffled. "Stop that."

"Just checking," he muttered dropping the bag and its contents before turning and walking away. Seras picked up her stuff and frowning turned to head out.

She returned two hours later, starving hungry and slightly frustrated. Entering the basement kitchen expecting to find Walter hard at work she was again surprised to see her master keeping the aged butler company.

"Ah, Miss Victoria," Walter smiled. "Back already? Did you have a productive workout?"

"Kind of," Seras said. She smiled when Walter handed her a glass of water and sat down next to her master.

"Only kind of?" Walter said.

"Well, yeah," Seras muttered. "I was expecting to be pretty sore; I mean it's been a long time since I did any training. This was the first time since …" she trailed off.

"Since you died," Alucard helpfully finished for her, she made a face for a moment before nodding.

"I just expected to feel it a bit more," she shrugged sitting at the table opposite the two men.

"Your disappointed that you're not sore?" Walter said Seras shrugged again.

"Must have done something wrong," she said. Alucard put his head in his hands and groaned, Seras glared at him.

"There are days when I wonder if you have two brain cells to rub together," the master vampire snapped. He turned to Walter, "she's imbecilic."

"Oi," Seras snapped. "Rude." She was tempted to ask why her master thought her foolish on this occasion, but her pride stopped her.

"You expect to do the same level of physical activity that you did while alive and are disappointed that it had no effect," Alucard said, his tone harsh. Seras could feel him gearing up for a full on rant and decided she'd rather not endure it.

"I was pretty fit," she said. "stronger than most, you have to be to be a policewoman." Alucard let his mouth fall open gaping like a fish out of water for a full second before growling at her again.

"You know nothing of what we are," he said softer than Seras had expected. "Not even the misinformation put out by television and cheap novels."

"What are vampires weak against gyms?" Seras snapped. Alucard took a deep breath through his nose and leaned back in his chair.

"Think," he said. "What makes a vampire strong?"

"I'm guessing you're not going to say free weights," Seras said. Alucard growled again but stopped when Walter put a hand on his shoulder.

"If I may," he said. "Miss Victoria think you must have seen movies, or read books, comic, something that portrayed vampires." Seras nodded, she'd seen a few films. "Tell him something that all those dissimilar films had in common when it came to the strength of the monsters portrayed."

"It was unrealistic," Seras said eventually. "and inconsistent."

"No," Alucard snapped. "It wasn't, unrealistic that is."

"So …" Seras said.

"I lifted a tank for Integra last week when her lighter rolled underneath it," Alucard said.

"No way," Seras said before she could stop herself. "You've got skinny little arms."

"Oi!" Alucard said. "Rude."

"It was rude," Walter nodded when Seras just glared. "but what I believe your master is trying to portray is that your physical strength is no longer tied to your muscle mass or any other physical aspect of your being."

"Reality is ours to play with, that includes our physical form," Alucard said. "even the weakest of us can twist ourselves to suit."

"So, I could make myself buff without free weights," Seras said to herself. Alucard sighed loudly.

"She's doing this on purpose," he said to Walter.

"Doubtful," Walter said. "I must admit that it baffles me that you struggle with this but had little trouble with some of your more eldritch talents."

"Huh?" Seras said.

"Alucard said you opened your third eye on your first mission, shooting far further and with more accuracy than a mortal." Walter elaborated. Seras nodded.

"I did," she admitted.

"But you're struggling to comprehend that you could bench press a small car," Alucard said.

"Oh," Seras finally clicked. "You're saying that I wasn't doing enough, I'm stronger now so it'll take more to build muscle." She stood smiling. "Thanks, though you could have just said that." She turned, heading for the shower.

"She's deliberately being obtuse," Alucard muttered when Seras left.

"It's difficult for her, she's trained for a lot of her life to be strong physically, it might just take some time for her to understand that no amount of protein shakes or bench presses will aid her now." Walter stood and headed to the oven turning it on for dinner. "I confess I do not know how your kind increase in physical strength."

"Its all in the will," Alucard said. "Vampire strength comes from the strength of will, the more you know yourself the stronger you become."

"So a vampire riddled with self-doubt," Walter started.

"Would be a weakling," Alucard nodded. "That is perhaps the simplest way of putting it, though it is an oversimplification."

"Maybe if Seras sees that physical training won't help she would be more accepting of other teachings?" Walter suggested. Alucard nodded slowly an idea forming in his mind.

"Walter?" he said. "What's heavier than a tank?"

**End**

Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the fic.

For information on published works and upcoming projects, release dates, as well as weekly blogs, check out www . katiemariewriter . co . uk


	2. Chapter 2

**Gym**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: PG

Part: Two of Three

_Italics mean either flashbacks or thoughts_

**Chapter Two**

"What on earth has he done?" Integra said as she stared out at the grounds, trying in vain to make sense of what had once been a clear, well-manicured, green space.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice," Walter said.

"You should know by now that trying to steer me away from something will only cause me to discover it sooner," Integra said distractedly, still frowning at the mess.

"I was subtle," Walter sighed. "But obviously not subtle enough."

"You practically shoved me," Integra snorted. "I'm going to notice you pushing me away from the back of the house."

"I do tend to forget that you are not as foolish as those who set this up," Walter dipped his head. "Apologies mam, I did try to stop him."

"I do not expect you to stop him, Walter," Integra said. "That's my job, but I would appreciate an explanation."

"If you are happy to wait only a moment you may have a demonstration shortly," Walter said. "As I said I was trying to avoid you seeing this all together, I was almost successful, I imagine that it will be in pieces in a few minutes."

"In pieces?" Integra said, but before Walter could respond Seras walked up behind them.

"Do either of you know what this is," she gestured to the mishmash of objects strewn about the ground.

"I would have thought you'd know," Integra said, Seras frowned. "You seem to be his partner in crime recently."

"I had nothing to do with this," Seras said immediately worried. "honest, I was told to come out here, Master wanted to 'educate' me."

"He's gotten worse you know," Integra said turning back to look out at the grounds.

"Worse?" Seras asked.

"Yes, since you arrived," Integra sighed. "He was getting very quiet before you came, it was peaceful but also worrying."

"Depression," Walter said softly.

"He's an ancient diabolical monster, he doesn't get depressed," Integra snapped. "But he was becoming withdrawn." Seras raised an eyebrow at Integra, it was difficult to picture her master as withdrawn, sullen or even just quiet.

"He certainly has livened up a bit since your arrival," Walter smiled. Seras couldn't help but smile back.

"It's not a good thing," Integra said firmly. "The bills have quadrupled."

"We have good insurance," Walter said.

"We have bloody expensive insurance," Integra said back. "Wait," she squinted towards the far side of the grounds. "Is that a tank?"

"Oh," Walter frowned. "He decided on a tank then."

"What!" Integra snapped. "You know what this is?"

"Not certainly," Walter said, red rising in his cheeks a little. "But I have an inkling of a point that he's trying to make."

"Oh god this is the gym thing isn't it," Seras said.

"There are two tanks," Integra said still watching the wobbly approach of the tanks. "One is on top of the other." The head of Hellsing took a slow breath through her nose and leaned back against the tree behind her. "Tanks are expensive," she said after a moment of watching the tank-tower wobble towards them. "Penwood will have a hernia."

"At least that will be amusing," Walter offered.

"You're a very cruel man Walter," Integra said and stood up straight again, she took another deep breath before yelling. "You'd better have a bloody good explanation for this!"

"Of course, I do," Alucard, now visible under the tank tower, called back. There was a loud sound as he put the tanks down, a screech of complaining metal followed by several smaller vaguely pop-like sounds as the top tank continued to slowly crush the lower.

"I can't wait," Integra pinched the bridge of her nose to ward off the headache she could feel forming.

"I am educating my fledgeling," Alucard grinned. "If you are concerned over expenditure again then consider it an investment in your staff."

"How is this," Seras gestured to the odd collection covering the grounds. "an education."

"You seem certain that your physical strength can be increased the same way a human would increase their strength. I am going to show you that our strength, while vastly superior, is based on more than just our muscle mass." Seras raised her eyebrow again. Alucard grinned and took a few steps back from them.

Seras watched as his form darkened and seemed to shimmer. She frowned watching as he lost height and bulk rapidly. His clothing changed from the usual red to a brilliant white. His hair lengthened and his grin widened further.

"Oh, that takes me back," Walter muttered.

"Don't get nostalgic on me," Alucard warned the aged butler. He turned his attention to his master and his fledgeling. "Now, as you can see, I'm even smaller than you now, I doubt I weigh more than one hundred and nineteen pounds." He removed the white coat and let it fall to the ground where it disappeared in a fluttering of shadow, beneath he revealed an almost dainty figure.

"You're tiny," Seras couldn't help but grin. Her master was almost cute if you ignored the manic gleam in his eye and the positively predatory energy that still came off him in waves.

"Yes," Alucard nodded. "If I were human, I doubt I would be able to arm wrestle Walter and win. But I am not human."

"There is absolutely no chance of you convincing me to arm wrestle you," Walter said.

"Quiet, Walter," Alucard said walking over to what appeared to be a wall, a haphazardly constructed, free-standing wall in the middle of the grounds. Alucard balled up a tiny fist, and without pulling his arm back punched the wall. The action should have done nothing, the visible force behind the blow wouldn't have even bruised the vampire's fingers.

The wall exploded.

"You'd better clean this up afterwards," Integra muttered as the dust cleared.

"Now," Alucard grinned at his fledgeling, revealing monstrous dentistry. "For your lesson, Seras."

**End**

Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the fic.

For information on published works and upcoming projects, release dates, as well as weekly blogs, check out www . katiemariewriter . co . uk


	3. Chapter 3

**Gym**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: PG

Part: Two of Three

_Italics mean either flashbacks or thoughts_

**Chapter Three**

"This is ridiculous," Integra said, Walter smiled at her.

"Yes," he agreed. "But it's entertaining." For a moment Integra looked as if she would argue, but after that moment her shoulders slumped and she smiled.

"Yes," she said. "When you ignore the insane amount of property damage that's taking place."

"It's become a habit of ours I think," Walter said.

"More a survival tactic, I'd go mad if I focused too hard on it for too long," Integra let out a put-upon sigh.

"You haven't told him to stop," Walter pointed out, Integra flushed, just a little and said nothing.

"How the hell am I doing this!" Seras all but screeched as she walked past the two mortals holding a tank aloft, she wobbled precariously but the issue was only balance not weight. "I mean small things don't feel lighter than they did before, surely if I can lift this, I should be crushing cups every time I pick them up?" her diminutive master shrugged.

"Apparently it's all to do with expectation and presentation as opposed to physics," he said picking up the other, far more battered tanks. "Heads up!"

"Master no!" Seras screeched as the second tank was launched at her. It crashed onto the tank she was holding aloft and the combined weight made her overbalance and she fell, dropping both tanks.

"You crushed her," Integra said softly. Alucard snorted.

"Unlikely," he said. "She's just being dramatic by not getting up."

"You threw a tank at her," Integra was eyeing the tank wreckage with some concern now.

"Just a little one," Alucard said.

"There is no such thing as a little tank," Integra said. "Some tanks are bigger than others but none of them are little."

"It was little enough, if she had some coordination, she'd be juggling them," Alucard said.

"Get her out from under there," Integra snapped. Alucard rolled his eyes but obeyed, hoisting first one then the other of the tanks off of his fledgeling.

"You tiny bastard," Seras muttered getting up.

"You have the coordination of a squashed banana," Alucard said offering her a hand and pulling her to her feet. "I expected more."

"Forgive me my lack of tank juggling abilities, master," Seras growled rubbing dirt and oil off her clothes.

"Next lesson," Alucard smiled at his fledgeling before gesturing to a rather tall and haphazard tower he'd constructed from a large collection of brick-a-brack and cars, it was taller than the mansion and wobbling in the breeze. "Hurdling."

"What?" Seras snapped

"Jump," Alucard said, "hop, like a bunny,"

"You're kidding me," Seras said, Alucard's smile dropped and he frowned.

"Can't follow basic instructions," he muttered. "Minus ten points."

"You're scoring me!" Seras snapped.

"To jump bend your knees," Alucard demonstrated a reasonable squat. Seras rolled her eyes.

"I know how to jump," she said

"Then you're being deliberately insubordinate and not stupid," Alucard said. "Minus twenty points."

"Being an asshole, minus fifty points," Integra said. "stop telling her and show her what you want."

"You can't minus my points," Alucard said.

"I'm your master I can do what I like."

"Dictator," Alucard muttered bending his knees and with very little obvious effort launched himself thirty feet into the air in a basic jump.

"No way," Seras said as her master continued to rise, landing on top of the tower.

"Yes, way. Now come on," he yelled. "Bounce."

Seras bent her legs closed her eyes and leapt vertically upwards.

"Why are your eyes closed!?" she heard her master's voice sail passed her and opened her eyes noticing she'd cleared the strange tower and was still going. She had but a moment to appreciate the pleasant view before she hurtled down again. The air stole her scream as the ground raced to meet her. She had an odd thought that this probably wouldn't kill her but it was still terrifying when thin arms wrapped around her waist and she landed on the ground held aloft by her master who was currently still a good foot shorter than her.

"I only did that because you'd be all dramatic about it if I let you splat."

"I think I've had enough training today," Seras said.

"I think so as well," Integra said. "Dismantle that thing before it falls and breaks the roof."

"Perhaps a different kind of lesson next time?" Walter suggested at Alucard's downcast expression, they hadn't even got to the running track yet, he'd put obstacles in and everything.

"You made your point though," Seras said noting the expression and recalling suddenly what Integra had mentioned about her master's demeanour changing because of her presence; he still hadn't put her down. "I understand that going to a gym isn't going to benefit me. I'd like to know what would." The arms holding her lengthened and her feet no longer scraped the floor as her master resumed his usual form.

"I think we can make some arrangements," he smiled.

**End Fic**

Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the fic.

For information on published works and upcoming projects, release dates, as well as weekly blogs, check out www . katiemariewriter . co . uk


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